The way the Main Stream Media present the news is depressing and social media is often divisive.

When I came off using my phone, after checking the news and social media, I suddenly realised I felt internally angry. I looked round the room I was in and there was nothing in my immediate surroundings to make me so angry. No one else was there. Its madness that a small device could make me so angry.

‘This is not me’, I thought to myself, allowing something external to influence my emotions. Surely one should be master of their own emotions, no matter what the provocation.

Possible solutions

This can’t go on and so as I see it, there are only three possible solutions.

1. Will power to stay positive.

The first solution is to continue using my phone in the same uncontrolled way but use sheer willpower to control my emotions. No matter what the algorithms send me, I will stay on an even keel.

2. Only find positive.

The second solution, I can think of, is to continue using the phone but only find things of a positive and uplifting nature. This could be tricky as the applications on the phone are addictive by design and algorithms on social media, for instance, reward those posts which garner more engagement. More often these are of a divisive and controversial nature. The danger might be that I get drawn in to negative content.

3. Break up with my phone.

My third option is to break up with my phone completely. This might mean completely resetting and re-evaluating how I use my phone. This option seems to be the hardest at first, but counterintuitively may turn out to be the easiest overall. So, the option I have chosen is to break up with my phone.

Addictive devices

Manufacturers design smart phones to be addictive. This is bad enough as we shouldn’t become addicted to a device. After all, I am not addicted to my toaster. It serves the useful purpose of toasting bread and then I leave it alone. The problem with smart phones is that every aspect of them is designed to be seductive. From their shape and colour down to the design of each icon, the phone entices us to pick it up.

Much more destructive though are the apps. The app designers have, through iteration, produced many ways to seduce you to use them and then get you hooked. Social media companies offer their products for free. Think about why that is. Is it maybe that we the consumer are the product? Through paid advertising the Social Media companies earn their money through selling your attention to advertisers. These advertisers are selling either directly or indirectly through affiliate marketing, either products or their influence, to get you to think in a certain way. I have no problem with marketing, after all, I work in Sales and Marketing. However, I now realise that I am being manipulated to engage with these apps and devices to my detriment.

May be its time I stopped consuming.

Time management

Many phones have a feature in the settings called Screen Time, where you can check the amount of time you are using the phone and even which app you are using the most. The last time I checked I was shocked and embarrassed to see I had been staring at my phone for an average of 2.5 hours per day. The worst day was over 5 hours. This is frightening and I am ashamed. The only slight mitigation to this is that I only use the phone for work during working hours and I don’t have the phone in the bedroom at night.
Think about that. 2.5 hours a day scrolling mindlessly. Not just the damage this is causing neurologically (more on this later), but the opportunity cost of this.
And here are two serious opportunity costs:

Financial

If the average (Median) salary in the UK is £35k which equates to £16.83 per hour, this means at 2.5 hours per day, you are wasting £42.07 per day. That is like wasting £11k per year. Yikes. Oh, and this doesn’t include the money you spend on things you don’t want or need because of the adverts you saw..

Learning

How about how much you could have learned in that time. If a standard non-fiction book has a word count of 100,000 words and you can read 250 words per minute, it would take you about six and a half four hours of reading to finish. Therefore, with your 2.5 hours per day you could read over two books per week.

What about say learning a new language or a skill like learning a musical instrument. A common myth is that you can master any new skill by practising for 10,000 hours or just under 11 years if we use our spare 2.5 hours a day. Ok, you might not want to become an expert at your new skill. However, the point is that if you use those 2.5 hours per day practising some new skill, you could become proficient new and useful.

Change in brain neurology.

Have you ever picked up your phone and forgotten why you picked it up. You know you picked it up for some reason, but a notification distracted you and now you can’t remember. Its scary isn’t it. Research has shown that indeed overuse of smart phones can have a negative effect on your mental health. And that’s not all, our attention spans are lessening. Some people are unable to concentrate on a task for very long before they feel the urge to do something more stimulating. This means that we are unable to perform the deep concentrated work to finish a project or achieve a goal.

Did you know that the executives of tech companies will limit or ban the use of smartphones and screens for their children? Why would that be? Because they know the neurological damage they can cause.

Still need it for work

The big drawback to all this breaking up with your phone is that I still need a phone, to make and receive phone calls. What about when you are out and about and someone needs to get hold of you in an emergency? That’s why I’m going to get a dumbphone.

Robin Sharma talks about the 2-phone protocol, where you have two phones. One stripped down phone which just makes and receives calls and has text messaging. The other phone would be just for those apps you really need. For instance, my Manchester United season ticket. I need the phone for scanning into the stadium. Another example would be boarding passes for flights and train tickets. I also regularly use maps and the camera. Oh, and I’ve just realised I enjoy listening to music and podcasts in the car, connected by Bluetooth to my phone.

So, I’m going to have the dumbphone for everyday use and keep the smartphone for only when I specifically need it. I will also remove all the apps apparent from the essential. I may miss those times when I can just jump on Google to get an answer to some question immediately, but how about going back to a time when you had to wait for the answer. It may just promote patience, which is sadly lacking in today’s world.

Long deep thinking

Smart phones are anathema to long deep thinking and deep work. this is the kind of thinking and work where you get into a state where you are totally engrossed in the task. In deep thinking you can examine an issue from all angles to produce the solution.
All meaningful endeavours, for instance, writing a book require periods of deep concentrated work. Yes, you can do meaningful work on just 30 minutes of deep concentrated work per day, however during those 30 minutes you should concentrate your focus.

If you are interested in starting to write, I can recommend my post on the 7 Reasons Why Writing is Good for You, where I describe the benefits of this great pastime.

Smart phones, with their distractions and attention smashing apps, prevent you from getting into the mindset required to undergo a period of deep concentrated thought. People who have spent more time scrolling on their phones are more likely to be distracted and their mind more apt to wander.

Therefore, another reason why I am breaking up with my phone is to promote the mindset conducive to deep thought and work

Embrace boredom.

I hate being bored, everyone does. When I was a child, wet Sundays were particularly boring. There was nothing on TV, there were only three channels and they went off in the afternoon. However, when I look back during those times, I always found a way of alleviating the boredom. It wouldn’t take long for me to think ‘I’ve got an idea.’
We don’t here that saying much these days – ‘I’ve got an idea.’ Think about that for a while. Does that mean we aren’t getting ideas anymore? Is this because we hate boredom? We feel we should fill any free-thinking time with distraction.

Waiting in a queue – check your emails. Long journeys sitting on a plane or train must be filled by watching films on your tablet or scrolling on your phone. How about just staring out of the window? Whatever happened to just staring out of the window? I love getting the window seat on a flight and I can easily spend 4-5 hours just staring at the earth below, even if it is just ocean or clouds. That’s when I get my best ideas.

Break up with your phone. Embrace boredom. I think the world will be a better place for it.

.

Inspiration from Catherine Price – How to break up with your phone.

The post Why I’ve decided to break up with my phone. appeared first on Mike Holden Sales.

Who are the Media?

The media are the communication outlets that proliferate today. Their job is to education, inform and entertain. To a certain extent, they achieve this, some outlets are better than others.
When I talk about the media, I include Television, Radio and Newspapers, especially online. I also include social media because the media outlets I am referring to here, have presences on these platforms.
Media ranges from free to subscription models and from public institutions to private enterprises. They are many and varied, but they have one thing in common; They need your attention, and the dirty secret is the media wants you scared.

What does fear do to you?

Fear causes distraction and a sense of loss of control. If you are distracted and feel like you lack control, then you are more likely to make decisions that are in the interest of the media outlet or their sponsors. More on this later.

Headlines grab attention.

The first object of the mass media is to obtain your attention. This is usually done by some kind of headline. A particular piece will be summarised into half a dozen words, which will stop you in your tracks and make you engage. It’s not your fault, its human nature. We are evolved to look towards danger.

Eyeballs equals captive audience.

Once they have your attention, the piece will be designed to keep you engaged. A snappy headline will be followed by an opening that is designed to draw you into the piece. Each section will keep you engaged and sell the next section. Once you reach the end, you will be prompted to consume the next article or programme. It’s all marketing and in itself is benign, apart from your time spent, which could have been invested elsewhere.

Advertisements

Most Media organisations make their money through advertising or subscription. Their business model requires predictable viewing figures, either because the sponsors will pay for the number of clicks, they receive or because they know their ad will be seen by a certain number of people.
Therefore, once you are engaged in the media channel, the longer they can keep you engaged, the more beneficial to them.

Read more about how advertisers hypnotise you into buying stuff. I will also show you how you can recognise when this is happening and what you can do about it.

Purchases – you buy what they’re selling.

Back to our state of fear, distress or unease. The human condition is such that a person will always seek to ameliorate pain and discomfort. We will do something that will make us feel better. What do we see on our screens (TV, phones & PCs) after we’ve been shown something disconcerting? Advertising. The copy or script of the advert goes along the tried and trusted formula of:
“Are you feeling bad about X, Y, Z? Then purchase our super flippety gib service and product. You’ll feel great.”
In our state of fear, we will whip out our credit card and make the purchase. Or, more sinisterly, the branding will log deep in our subconscious. Feel bad, buy X.

24hr News

Back when I was growing up, the news on TV broadcasted 2 or 3 times per day, per channel. There were only three channels back then. In my naïve pre-teen mind, I was always astounded that there was exactly 30 minutes’ worth of news, going on in the world to fill the schedule. Now of course, that’s not how it works. The programmers (the hint is in the name) had 30 minutes of news airtime to fill. If a lot was going on, then the news was edited down to fill the time. But what if there was not a lot going on?

Here’s what didn’t happen in the early 80’s:

“And now the 6-o clock news from the BBC”.
“Today, nothing of importance happened. At all.”
“We will return tomorrow. In the meantime, here’s a nice film about basket-weaving to music.”

No that didn’t happen, mores the pity, because they would find some news. There’s always something bad happening, somewhere. And if not, we can talk about some dreadful things that might happen.
As TV became digital, more TV channels proliferated and we got 24-hour news channels. And they needed to be filled, usually with shocking news. Are there more terrible things happening today versus 40 years ago? No, of course not. But good news doesn’t sell. If you feel good about the world, you don’t buy stuff.

Politicians

Politicians use this fear factor also. They need your votes to stay in power and they need your money, through taxes. They need your money to enact their policies, once they are in power. Fear sells at the ballot box and government departments are looking for more of a share of the budgets.
If you don’t believe me, wait till the next general election. Both sides will use the fear tactic. The incumbents will plant the side of doubt about what the opposition will do once they get in power. The opposition will highlight all the bad things that are happening, and that they will be the solution.

The real solution

I’ve belaboured this point long enough and I feel quite icky just writing about it. So here is a way you can immunise yourself from being manipulated.

No news

Do not watch any news on TV, especially 24-hour news channels and talking head TV/Radio. Do not read any newspapers either print or online. Online news is clickbait. They earn off your clicks. Don’t feed the monster.
Now, you may think you will become uninformed, but I assure you, you will be happier. You will find out about any real newsworthy events. You will become more mindful of your local community news, because your eyes and ears will be open.

Do not consume social media.

If your business model uses social media for marketing and displaying your content, then you may not be able to completely avoid social media. In that case, only use social media for the purpose of content producing. If possible, you can even outsource the re-purposing of your content onto socials. If you do this you will thank me.

Try it for a day.

Quitting News and social media may seem drastic. I would therefore recommend trying it for just one day. Plan this day in advance so that you will not be tempted. Plan to get outside into nature, if you can. Make it a day that you will not need to be contacted via phone, so you can just put your phone away for the day. A long walk in the country is ideal for this.
The day before your media fast, sit and feel how anxious you are. Give yourself a score out of ten. One being zen-chilled to ten being highly anxious. Then that night, hide your devices and remote control.
Then enjoy the day, free from the jabs and prods of the doom-mongers.
At the end of the day, asses your level of anxiety. Did it work? Let me know.

The post Why the Media Wants You Scared appeared first on Mike Holden Sales.

How to Change your Life from Negative to Positive

One of the biggest challenges you might face is how to change your life from negative to positive. By that, it might mean the results you are getting in your life, but also your attitude to your life.

The Good News

It is difficult, but not impossible to change your life from positive to negative and in this chapter, I will show you how to start.
As with anything worthwhile, it is not an overnight thing. It is a process and you can begin to get some immediate results.
I fundamentally believe that anyone, no matter where they find themselves, can change their lives. You can do some very simple, but very important things every day. I will also reveal to you three secrets of suggestion that I learned in my Hypnotherapy training, which will help you to make long lasting change.
Firstly, though, it really starts with attitude.

Attitude

The Only Question to ask yourself, when beginning to change your life is – Can I change?
If you are reading this post because you are searching for the answer to this question, then you are already half way there. The fact that you are searching for the answer, means that you doubt that your current state is permanent.
You can change and you will change.



When first beginning the task of changing your life around, you will need to adopt new beliefs. I go into detail on how to change a belief in my book The Habits for Fat Loss
Here are some fundamental beliefs, which I have found useful.
My view of the world is not the world. Other people have different views of the world – and that is not the world either.
All my experience has a structure to it; therefore, I can hack into this to change my experience of something.
I just one person can do something, then anyone can do it.
The mind and the body are part of the same system.
People already have the resources they need, they just need help accessing them.
You are always communicating, even if you think you aren’t
Underlying all behaviour is a positive intent. Therefore, try to separate the behaviour from the person.
People are always making the best choices available to them
If what you are doing isn’t working out, do something else.
The quality of your life is only as good as the quality of your thoughts.
You don’t need to adopt the beliefs all in one go, just go one at a time. A tip for which one to internalise first, is the one that you really disagree with the most. Pick this one first.

The words you use

The second step to changing your life from negative to positive is to mind your language. I don’t mean cutting out the odd Industrial term here and there (I believe that these have a time and a place too). I mean the type of words you use, that force you into a negative state.

Outside influences

The next area for you to address are the outside influences, that are shaping your worldview. I talked about this back in the The Gateways to the Subconscious.
Doing this can have immediate effects on whether your life feels positive or negative. What you see, hear and read, absolutely effects your thinking. Have you ever listened to two people arguing and then felt argumentative after? Or what about if you hear someone laughing? You can’t help but smirk. We have an in built propensity to copy those we associate with. It’s perfectly natural and has helped human survival. But that doesn’t mean that you have to imbibe all the negativity the world has to offer, because you will. And just like the computer programming adage “Garbage in, garbage out”, the quality of your influences will shape the quality of your life.

TV/news/Media

I find Television very educating. Whenever someone turns on the set, I go into another room and read a book. – Groucho Marx

TV has a lot to answer for. As a qualified Hypnotherapist, I shudder at how this box in the corner of the room, can hypnotise people. From the advertisers, who use the power of suggestion to make you think you want their product, to the politicians who use fear to get you to vote for them, be very careful what you watch on this device. I will maybe devote a whole book to the dangers of TV, as there is not enough room here.
Start by questioning what you watch. Notice how you feel after watching a programme. Do you feel full of angst after watching a soap opera. Do you feel fearful after watching the news? Notice this. TV is doing this.

Print Media

Take an audit of your reading material. Is it positive or negative? Again, the proportion of this, will have a direct effect on how you view your own life. Does reading the magazine full of airbrushed models make you feel inadequate? Publishers design them to do so, so that you buy the products advertised in it.
You can easily assess whether what you read is wholesome or not by how you feel after. Do you feel uplifted after reading it? Optimistic?

Social media

Here is a tip for what to do if someone negative on social media is making you feel bad – delete them. Really, life is too short to read negative stuff. You don’t need to. I know it can be tempting, but it’s not doing you any favours. Ok, maybe deleting then is too harsh, why not just use the setting to hide them.

In defence of negative.

Now that we have gotten all negative on the negative, let’s just take a sense-check. Have you ever looked both ways, when crossing the road? Did you look again as you were crossing? Why so negative? Surely, the positive thing to do would be to blindly jump into the road and hope for the best. No? Course not?
Whilst moving your life from negative to positive, it’s crucial that you don’t become deluded. You should still take precautions and buy insurance. Are you going into a new business? Do your due diligence, test the market out.
Or what if you are starting a new exercise regime? Take care of yourself, the mind may be willing, but give your body time to adjust to new things.
When we talk about removing negatives, we are talking about all the unhealthy things that are holding you back.
As the old Arabian saying goes “Trust in Allah, but tie up your camel”.

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