How to Change a Bad Memory

Have you ever had a bad memory pop up out of nowhere, then all of a sudden all those negative emotions and feelings come rushing back? Perhaps the same feelings of embarrassment, hurt anger or sadness come back and affect you in the here and now, years later. This isn’t right is it? Why should the long lost events of yesteryear change how we feel now? Surely, there is a way to change a bad memory so it doesn’t make you feel bad now.
Well yes, there are some great techniques you can perform on your own, right now that will instantly change that bad memory. Here is one that is miraculous. It uses the submodalities of a memory. Let me explain.

Submodalities

Submodalities are the qualities of your senses. In this case, a memory is a sense that you have remembered. The memory may be a combination of the sights, sounds and feelings recalled from the event. So the submodality of a memory might be that it was bright visually or muffled sounding, for example.
A memory is not real. A memory is not the event. The event has been and gone and doesn’t exist anywhere. So although you can’t change a past event, unless you’re Dr Who, you can change your perception of it. Here’s how.
Before you perform this exercise, make sure you first read the instructions on how to induce self-hypnosis and get familiar with the process. Then read the rest of these instructions. You might need to read it a few times, so you are fully clear on the process. You will be using your imagination in this exercise. Don’t tell me you don’t have any imagination, because I don’t believe you. After all, you are only using your imagination when you remember bad memories!

The process of changing a bad memory

Before you start, think of as many beautiful, funny, positive, favourite things you can think of. You will be using these good memories at the end. Take your time on this and right down as many as you can think of.
Now go ahead and put yourself into a self-hypnotic, trance state.
While you are in trance, you will be evoking the bad memory so that you actually feel the pain. Actually, try to relive the event, in a negative way…
FOR VERY THE LAST TIME.
As I said before the submodalities are the characteristics of the sensory perception. Let’s take the sights or pictures of the event.

Location

Does the picture of the event, or the feeling have a location? Is it in front of you? Above? Below? Wherever the image is move it somewhere else in your head.

Associated or disassociated

Are you associated (in the picture) seeing out of your eyes or are you disassociated (looking at yourself in a movie? Again, whatever it is (usually associated) do the opposite ie take yourself out of the picture, so you are watching yourself.

Movement

Is the picture moving or still? If it’s moving, make it stop or run it backwards in fast speed, like rewinding an old VHS tape. (Remember them? – ask your Dad).

Shape

Does the memory or feeling have a shape? What is it? How big is it? Large or small? These questions might seem silly; if I was treating you as a hypnotherapy client, I would be asking you to trust your gut instinct. This is your subconscious mind’s answer.

Colour

Are there any colours associated with the feelings? Change them. What is your favourite colour? Add this colour. Now make it pink with purple spots.

Sounds

Are there any sounds involved? Are they loud, then turn them down. Quiet? Turn up the volume? Add some silly clown music. Remember the Benny Hill theme tune? Run the sequence with this music.

Destroy the Memory

To finally ruin this bad memory forever, move the image around. Shrink it down. Play around with it like a rubber ball.
Are there any sharp edges? Then get an imaginary nail file and smooth them down.
Finally make the image or memory fade away to nothing. You could even make it go pop like a balloon. Gone. It all goes black, a void. Silent and black.

Replace the memory

Now you have an empty void. You will feel empty for a moment, but now you fill the void with all the lovely memories you gathered at the start. Pour them into your mind. Fill all the gaps in your mind with these lovely feelings. Make sure the good memories come pouring over the edge. Then seal them up into an imaginary gift box, with a bow on.

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What Is Subconscious Mind?

Just what is the subconscious mind? Pop psychologists talk about how to reprogram your subconscious mind, but does it really exists and what is it. As the name suggests, subconscious is something below consciousness. In the scientific literature the terms unconscious and pre-conscious mind are also used. For the purpose of this post, let’s stick with subconscious mind to describe anything that is not conscious. Just know that I am also referring to what people also call the unconscious, or pre-conscious.

Well what then is consciousness?

Before we define subconscious, we need to define consciousness. Consciousness is awareness, it is what you know is happening. You are aware of yourself as a separate person (I think therefore I am), whereas a two year old child is just aware. Consciousness is not limited to humans although there is debate about whether some animals experience self-hood. My belief is that primates and higher mammals also do. Why does my dog not bark at its own reflection? Anyway, I’m here to discuss psychology, not philosophy.
The subconscious mind is therefore mind that you are not aware of.
Your brain or more accurately your Central Nervous System is actually made up of several areas of the brain and the spinal column.

Conscious mind

The conscious mind resides in the cerebrum (including the cortex), this is the large part of the mammalian brain. It is subdivided into smaller regions, like the prefrontal cortex, where rational thought lives. In humans this takes up a larger proportion of the overall brain mass, which is why we are the most rational and aware animal.

Subconscious functions

Subconscious functions are everything you are not aware of, such as:
Feelings and emotions. These come from the limbic brain and seem to come from nowhere. You don’t decide to be happy or sad, it just results from whatever stimulus has happened, or from memories.
Memories, both storage and retrieval and dreams are generated from the whole of the cortex.
Habits and skills are formed or reside in the cerebellum.
Bodily functions, fight or flight reactions come from the brain stem. This is the ancient part of the brain.
Sensations: you don’t decide to feel physical pain, it just happens, due to some injury etc.

Characteristics of the Subconscious mind

The subconscious mind doesn’t analyse or criticise. It takes everything literally. When you program your subconscious mind, be very careful what you wish for. Also, be extremely careful with self-deprecating humour. Telling people you are useless at something, also tells your subconscious.
The subconscious also doesn’t know what is real or imagined. (TV, visualisation). Do you sometimes get emotional watching a weepy film? You consciously know it’s not real, but your empathy with the characters, sets off a subconscious feeling.

The subconscious mind uses symbolism. Words and language are largely a conscious faculty, formed in various areas of the cortex.
It Is also protective first and foremost. There are automatic programmes linked to memory and emotion. Try holding your breath. Quite soon, your brain stem will take over and force you to breathe.

It has no concept of time. Everything is in the here and now. This includes the reliving of past trauma, worrying about future. Guilt, fear and stress caused by the past and future (non-existent events) actually cause physiological changes in the body associated with flight or fight response. Over time these can build up and cause disease.

Memories

Memories of past events are caused when present stimuli (sight, taste, smells sounds) trigger a pattern of thoughts, which then can recall the memory. Each time that memory is activated, it can be slightly altered by the new stimuli. Think of the angler’s tale, after each telling, there is a slight embellishment. The next time the memory is recalled, it may be slightly different. Memories are therefore your brain remembering previous memories, they are not real. You are only recalling a memory not the event, and just like the angler’s tale, for good or bad, it’s only a story.

If you are living now with fear, guilt or sadness, because of a memory, take hope. The only thing real is what is now, right in front of you.
This is the foundation of all change.
When you grasp this deep down, in your core, then you know that you can achieve or be anything you want.

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