The truth is all you need to do is get your thinking mind off the problem, by distracting it with something else. Running, I find is an excellent way to do this. I noticed this myself years ago, as I’ve always enjoyed running. I would often produce answers to conundrums. It seemed like a happy by-product of doing something I enjoy. It was only much later that I realized that I could use a run to specifically solve some puzzles.

I use this method for many other creative activities such as coming up with ideas for blog posts and thinking about different marketing strategies.
Here is how I go about the practise of using running to solve problems.

1. Define the problem

The first step in using running to solve problems, is to define the problem. You should try to be as specific as possible. What is the specific outcome you would like. Asking a question is a fantastic way to define the problem and even better, are questions such as:

‘How can I?’ or ‘What would be a great way to?’

For instance, if you need more money in your life, simply asking for more money is not an effective question. A better question would be:

‘What would be a great way for me to double my income next month?’

2. Meditate on the question

The next step is to meditate on this question for a short while, about 5 minutes should be enough. Once you’ve defined the question, get yourself into a quiet place, turn off any devices so you aren’t distracted. Then close your eyes and repeat the question to yourself three times. Then let your mind go still, by concentrating on your breathing. Count down backwards from thirty to zero with each breath. Once you reach zero, open your eyes, move about then get your gear ready for your run.

3. Let the problem go

As you are getting ready for your run, let the problem go. Act as if you would if you’ve just ordered something online. You place your order then just forget about it, knowing that the parcel is ‘in the post’.

4. Go for a run

How long do you need to run for? Ideally for me it is for 20 minutes minimum, but the longer the better. If you’ve not ran for some time, then perhaps start with a fast-paced walk. Obviously if you are not a runner, then seek medical advise before starting any new exercise regime.
Running outside in nature is the best place to do this exercise. There is something about trees, greenery and open water that seems to get the creative juices flowing. Just enjoy the scenery and keep your body moving. Again, you don’t need to think about the problem, ideally you should try to forget all about it. Allow the answer to come when it is ready, there is no need to force it.
Oh, and one more tip, take something with you to record the answer.

5. The solution will arrive

Eventually the answer will arrive. It will either be a fully formed solution or it will be the inspiration to explore a next action. Either way, just let the answer come. Sometimes the answers come through in stages if it is a particularly complex problem. You will know when you are getting the answer, it will seem obvious to you, as if you should have already known it.
I talked about the subconscious mind before and this is certainly where the answer comes from. But the action of defining the problem, quieting the thinking mind, nature and physical activity seems to be an ideal combination. Psychologists talk about the flow state and maybe this has something to do with it. Either way it is certainly an enjoyable way of solving problems. If you would like to know more about how you can influence the subconscious, then check out my post Six Ways to Influence the Subconscious. In this post I describe how you can communicate with and direct the subconscious mind to change your life for the better.

The post Using Running to Solve Problems appeared first on Mike Holden Sales.

I use divination to make decisions when I’ve exhausted all other methods to decide. I’ve researched and I will have examined the pros and cons and yet I still I haven’t a clear winner. Logic is saying that either there is some piece of information I still do not know, or there is no clear best answer.

Sometimes in life, you have to take a leap of faith and decide either way. This is where I use divination as a last resort.

What is Divination?

Dictionaries will state that divination is a means of seeking knowledge of the future or the unknown, by supernatural means. I could not disagree with this more.

Divination methods are a way of communicating with your unconscious mind, higher self or intuition, using an external prop or device. It’s not supernatural, far from it. It is completely natural.

Examples of Divination I use

I will show you a few methods I use and try to explain how they work.

The Heart Touch Tethod

The heart touch is the easiest and quickest method I use. Pedants will say it isn’t divination, but I group it with the other methods I use to make decisions.

This method is ideal for yes/no decisions. For instance, I have just finished a sales quotation or long email and I am about to press send. I’ve already done the spellchecking and editing and I want to know if it’s ok to send.

I stop, close my eyes and take a few deep breaths. I will silently ask myself ‘should I send this yet?’ Then I will put my hand on my heart and notice how I feel. If I fell the answer is a clear yes, I press send. If the answer is a no, I will have a definite feeling of no, I don’t send. I know that deep down, there is something I need to change. Is the tone of the email wrong? Do I need to check for spelling or grammar mistakes? Or do I need to re-check my figures?

Usually when I check the piece, there is something wrong that needs to be corrected. I unconsciously knew that the article or message was not ready to send.

The Coin Toss as Divination

The coin toss technique is another way I use divination to decide. As before, I’ve already gone through the logical decision-making process and I still don’t have an answer. This is good for binary questions either yes or no, or where there are two options.

I will assign heads to one options and tails to the other. I then toss a coin to see what the answer is. Here is the important bit. The coin toss result, itself, isn’t the answer, it is the feeling I get when the result is known.

For instance, let’s say that you have two job offers, both offer the same salary and benefits in the same field. There is nothing obvious to help you make the decision. Company A is assigned heads and company B is tails. You toss the coin and tails lands face up. That means that company B wins, but there is a definite feeling of regret, that A didn’t win.

There you have it. Company A is the real winner and deep down you knew it.

The Pendulum Method

The pendulum technique is something I learned during my Hypnotherapy Training and is a way of letting your unconscious mind communicate with you. Like the coin toss, it works with binary decisions and will help you understand what you really want.

If you don’t have a pendulum, you can make your own simple one. All you need is a piece of cotton thread and a small weight with and eye hole on it, such as a key. Thread the cotton through the eye hole, so that each end is the same length. Tie a simple knot so that the key is fixed in position in the middle of the thread. Then tie the two loose ends together.

Hold your pendulum in front of your face with the weight at eye level and think of the question. Concentrate on the pendulum and it will eventually start rotating on the horizontal plane ie. it would look like a circle if you looked at it from above. Decision A is clockwise and B anticlockwise. Slowly you will start to move the pendulum and it will pick up speed until it is rotating freely.

Whichever direction the pendulum spins is the winner because you wanted it to. Again, you’ve found your answer.

Tarot Cards

I use Tarot cards for more complex issues. If your familiar with Tarot cards, you will know that each card has a different picture. Each picture has a specific scene or characters on it. There is no writing on the card, apart from the name, eg. The Moon, to help you understand what it means. The Moon card has the moon looking down between two standing towers and raining 9 flames down. A dog and a wolf look up at the moon and a crayfish crawls out of the sea. A winding path leads from the foreground up between the towers. What does this mean?

My understanding of how Tarot works is that you look at the card with your question in mind and the archetypes in the picture will resonate with how your unconscious mind works. Something in the card will spark a conscious thought that will help you arrive at your decision. For instance, with another job conundrum, you’ve been offered promotion and you’re not sure whether to accept. It’s more money, but more responsibility.

The moon reflects – so maybe I should reflect on this job opportunity more.

The dog and the wolf? The tame and the wild. Work and play. How will this job effect my work-life balance.

The crayfish – primitive life crawls from the sea, to evolve? How will this position help me to develop?

The winding path? It leads forward to who knows where. I must keep moving forward to progress?

Divination’s Bad Press

Divination has a bad press, from both science and religion, unfairly so. Science will say you can’t read the future. I agree, but you can use external props to help you understand your innermost wisdom, in the present. Religions don’t like divination, either, because it helps you to think for yourself!

The post Using Divination to Make Decisions appeared first on Mike Holden Sales.

“The person with dreams is more powerful than the one with all the facts” – Albert Einstein.

I’m sure Einstein was talking about those dreams which are our hopes and aspirations, rather than what goes on when we are asleep. I would like to posit that those movies we play when we are unconscious are important. Therefore, you should record your dreams so that you may benefit from them.

Why do we have dreams?

Why do we have dreams in the first place? Are they just an evolutionary quirk from when we first became conscious beings?

Flotsam and jetsam

Materialistic scientists would say that they serve no purpose. Dreams are just the useless items of our daily lives being washed up as we sleep, so that we can clean them out and forget them. Are they the de-fragging of the mind?

To make sense of the world

Other experts suggest that dreams help us make sense of the world and help with our memory building. It’s certainly true that lack of sleep can cause poor memory retention and recall.

Warnings and opportunities

I do believe that it may be true that some dreams serve no purpose or that they are our brain’s nightly decluttering. However, some dreams are there to warn of certain threats or to highlight opportunities.

The problem is that you don’t know which dreams are useful and which aren’t. That’s why I record my dreams so that I can look back to see what patterns there are.

How to record your dreams

How do you record your dreams when you don’t remember them. Dreams are like the will-o’-th’-wisp, they disappear shortly after you wake. Here are some tips to help you record your dreams

Say to yourself “I will remember”

When you are in bed just about to sleep, say to yourself, that you will remember your dreams. You are sending your unconscious mind an instruction and it will obey.

Notebook

Have a notebook next to your bed. If you wake up in the night or first thing in the morning, write down your dreams, before they evaporate.

Dream journal

It’s often a good idea to put these dreams into a dedicated Dream Journal. I used to put my dreams into a normal daily notebook journal, but looking back it was hard to find the entries. A dedicated dream journal will make it easier for you scan your past dreams to look for clues and trends.

Problems & puzzles – ask a question before you sleep.

Your unconscious mind will obey your commands if you give it a specific directive. If you are struggling to solve some conundrum in your life, try asking for an answer in your dreams. I’m sure this is where the phrase to ‘sleep on it’ came from.

Take a nap

Why wait for bedtime? You might be able to make use of napping. Often during a nap you will have dream-like visions or maybe you will hear yourself say phrases. These again can be useful if you have directed yourself beforehand.

Many famous people have used afternoon naps for this purpose. Thomas Edison would lock himself in a dark room to sleep on a problem. He would then wake up refreshed and usually with an answer to whatever was puzzling him.

Try it yourself. Get yourself a blank notebook and pen start recording your dreams. Also read my other post on dreams and how to interpret them.

The post Record your dreams appeared first on Mike Holden Sales.

Although I really can’t praise Darren Hardy enough for his work on the The Compound Effect, I know through experience that it doesn’t work with those habits associated with chemicals, what I call chemical habits. Some therapists will use the term addiction; however there is a mountain of difference between someone who is addicted to alcohol and someone who has an unhealthy alcohol usage habit.

Alcohol

I can speak from experience when I say that breaking free from the alcohol habit can be difficult. This is because it is more than a mental habit. It is a chemical, which actually changes the biochemistry of your body. Firstly, alcohol is a diuretic. It dehydrates you. So drinking alcohol makes you thirsty.
The pleasant feelings associated with drinking, stimulates the production of endorphins. These are the reward chemicals that your brain releases, to encourage you to repeat certain actions. This gives you the feel-good factor.
Next, the alcohol interferes with cognitive ability, meaning that you don’t think straight. Finally, alcohol lowers your inhibitions and fears, making you carefree. All this adds up to a potent cocktail, which makes will-power and self-discipline difficult.

A Different Method

You therefore need a different method to just cutting down.
In my personal story, I experimented with cutting down the amount I drank. I also went to only drinking at weekends. I concluded that as it was so difficult to control, I should just quit altogether. So I did. I can honestly say it has been the best decision I have ever made.
To break a habit that is linked to a chemical, like alcohol, the only thing that worked for me was the all-or-nothing technique. That is, I decided that I would go from my normal consumption to nothing.
In my research prior to quitting, I left no stone unturned. Here are the steps I took, to make sure I stopped for good. All the following actions may seem insignificant, but together they helped me quit for good.

1. Make a decision and commit to it.

The word decision means to cut off all other possibilities. I decided that I would never drink again. There were no other possibilities.

2. Pick a date in advance that will be your last day of drinking alcohol, or Day Zero.

Mine was about a month in advance. I made sure that the first month was clear of events that could tempt me, for example a night out with the lads.

3. Next, make a list of all the reasons why you want to quit.

This should included all the benefits, but also, all the bad things alcohol has done to you. Include all the gruesome details of embarrassing incidents. Only you need to read this. Boil all these reasons down to one big reason. If you can describe the reason why in one powerful word, all the better. This is your One-Word-Reason. For example, one big reason, apart from all the other reasons, could be painful gout. Therefore a One-Word-Reason would therefore be Gout.

4. I then made a promise to my close family, that I was going to quit and why.

I didn’t tell anyone else. I recommend you tell one or two trusted loved ones and no-one else. Be very careful here, you need to be able to trust that these people will support you 100%. If you doubt that they will support you, don’t tell them.

5. During the limbo period, before quitting, I prepared various tools and techniques.

I set up reminders in my calendar, to read my reasons for quitting each weekend. I created a talisman that would symbolically remind me why I was quitting. I used my one word reason, which was Sleep, because alcohol affected my sleep and made me tired. I wrote the word Sleep on a medal and put it in my wallet. You can do the same. It could be just be a little nick-nack, that you can carry around. Nobody else needs to know what it means, but it will serve as a reminder to you. Whenever you feel tempted, just look at your talisman and think of your One-Word-Reason and this should redouble your resolve.

6. Also during that period, I read several books on quitting.

If you would like to know what books I recommend, please do contact me, my email address is at the end of this book.

7. Next, notice how ingrained alcohol is in our society.

This makes it harder to quit. From films to popular soap operas, popular media seemed to be endorsing and legitimising drinking a toxin, to me anyway. I see it for what it is – a great big con.

8. The night before quitting, when you have your last drink, really taste it mindfully.

My last drink was on a Sunday. I drank some wine mindfully and tasted it honestly. No more Emperor’s New Clothes. It actually tasted like shite. Then I had my last mouthful and poured the rest away.

9. The first week is a critical time, where you could be tempted by all the influences in society.

Try to nullify these by limiting TV etc. Immerse yourself in positive influences that will support your new lifestyle. From day 1 to day 7, I listened to every Alcohol Mastery podcast from start to finish. (Thank-you Kevin O’Hara). I had no one to turn to during this period. Kevin’s wisdom and experience helped me during this critical period.

10. Set up a running log, which records each day you are dry.

I did mine in my online calendar. After the first successful day I set an all-day appointment saying I DON’T DRINK and coloured it red. Then I repeated this every day. This created a virtuous chain of successful days. As this grew and grew, I was even more determined not to break the chain.

11. After one week, tell your wider family members.

Don’t tell any friends or work colleagues yet, though, unless these are your trusted inner-circle.

12. After one month, you can start to tell people “I don’t drink”.

Simple as that – no explanation. If they ask why not, tell the truth.
This is how I did it and it worked for me. I can only reiterate that it has been my best decision ever.

Cigarettes

I gave up smoking in my late thirties and this was actually harder than quitting alcohol. Looking back the techniques I used were similar to those I used with the booze. Firstly I set a date in advance. This made sure that the decision was not a spur of the moment one. It was something well thought out and considered. I made a list of the reasons why I wanted to quit.
I made the decision that I would go cold turkey – that is, no patches or gum. It was all or nothing. No cutting back or weaning off. I actually quit smoking before I qualified as a Hypnotherapist, but I used self-hypnosis and hypnosis cds, which I listened to every single day for a month before I quit.

The post Chemical Habits appeared first on Mike Holden Sales.

When breaking any large habit or chemical linked habit, it’s important to be gentle with yourself. Treat yourself as you would a small child. You may relapse; it’s not the end of the world. It’s certainly not the end of your attempts to quit. It took me seven attempts to quit smoking. Each time I just picked myself up, dusted myself down and tried again. Your subconscious will eventually get the message that you are going to quit. If you do relapse though here are some practical suggestions.

Firstly, remind yourself that it is what it is.

Just a blip and you will quit again.

Second, don’t wait too long to try again

Set another date in the very near future.

Third, it’s critical to get to the root cause of the relapse.

If you want to make any permanent lasting change in your life. To do this, perform the five – whys exercise. This technique was made famous by Toyota in their manufacturing process. If there is a fault in a car or a hold up in manufacturing, they use this technique to get to the root cause. It’s really simple; just ask why did it happen?

Why did you relapse? The first answer is likely to be surface answer, such as “Well, the smell of the cigarettes was tempting and someone offered me one.”

Next ask why a second time – “Why was I tempted”. Answer – I was hanging around the smoke shelter.

3rd – Why was I hanging around the smoke shelter – “Because that’s where all my friends go at break-time”

4th – Why do I want to be around my smoking friends at break” Answer – “Because I am bored on my own at break”.

5th – Why am I bored on my own – “Because I don’t have an alternative pastime”.

So there you have a good root cause and you can now begin to address it. For this example, finding something stimulating and engaging to do during break time.

Huge habits can be broken down bit by bit using this method. It a great method for getting your weight under control as well. Slowly but surely you chip away at all the supports to the habit. Soon enough there is nothing left to support the habit and it shrivels away forever.

By the way if you are looking to lose weight contact me and I will show you how I did it.

The post Relapse – Five whys appeared first on Mike Holden Sales.

The subconscious mind is influenced very easily and if you don’t watch out you might find external influences can start to control you. Here are six ways that you can influence the subconscious mind yourself, so that you can take back control.

Affirmations

Affirmations are the second gateway to the subconscious. The repeating of a short statement or mantra will influence the subconscious as a command. There are some rules to this though. For affirmations to work, they need to be positive, specific and the present tense. For instance, “I am now a size ten”.
Belief is the foundation of all achievement. If you believe you can do something, you will. If you suspect that you don’t believe in your goal, you can change this by the use of affirmations. You can saturate your mind with positive expectation, until you believe.
If you think about it, we come into the world as babies with no beliefs, we are a blank page so to speak. Our beliefs are then formed by experience, repetition, indoctrination or suggestion. There are a thousand and one ways; such as throw away comments by well-meaning relatives such as:

“You’ll get fat if you eat that” (not necessarily)
“Clear your plate so you grow up big and strong” (what even when my stomach is full already?)

If you repeat something often enough it becomes a strong belief. Therein lies the solution. In my book on The Habits for Fat Loss, I go into how you can identify limiting beliefs. If can identify your limiting beliefs, then the next stage is to write out an opposing positive belief, in the form of an affirmation. For example if you identified a belief such as “I don’t like the way I look” the opposite would be “I love and value my body, I am perfect as I am”. Write out your positive affirmations on a card and read them out aloud as soon as you get up and just before bed. Read them throughout the day, as much as you can. Again, repetition is the key. Ideally repeat 50 times per day, for 60 days.
It may feel awkward at first, you may not really belief what you say, yet. You will believe soon. So how long should you do it for? You do it for as long as it takes.

Gateway NumberThree – Visualisation

The third gateway to the subconscious mind is visualisation. Visualisation is seeing in your mind’s eye the results you want to achieve, before they actually occur. It can also be mentally rehearsing a process.
The subconscious mind cannot tell the difference between what is real and what is imagined. Picturing yourself achieving your goal or performing the habit will actually train yourself to do it. Next time you need to deliver a presentation or performance – visualise yourself doing it before the event. Then see how it goes.

Gateway Number Four – Acting as if

Acting as if, or fake it until you make it. Does this really work? Try this then:
Smile. Go on a cheesy daft grin. How do you feel? Are you happier?
The mind and the body are part of the same system. For this reason, we smile when we are happy, but we are also happy because we smile. But what about skills such as social skills and being outgoing. It can be uncomfortable and potentially embarrassing, to pretend to be outgoing. But if you force yourself to be a little more outgoing and sociable every time you go out, eventually your subconscious will learn that this is the new you. You will then become that which you pretended to be.

Gateway Number Five – Influence

External influence is very powerful, probably the most powerful gateway to the subconscious.
We have evolved to conform to the group, so that the group becomes stronger. In evolutionary terms, if the individuals in a group are like each other, they will stick together. If the group or tribe sticks together and the individuals are safe, then that group will survive.
If an outsider joins this group, there is a strong subconscious influence on that individual to conform. For instance if an overweight person starts to hang around with thin people, they will slowly start to change their habits. This is all at an subconscious level. The tip would therefore be to hang around people who you want to be like and avoid those that you don’t want to be like.

By the way if you are looking to lose weight contact me and I will show you how I did it.

Gateway Number Six – Authority or the Master and Apprentice

What do you do when you are driving down the motorway and you see a police car? You automatically slow down.
Or, what if a man in a white coat and stethoscope tells you to take a pill? Are you more likely to believe him? Yes, you subconsciously believe him. This is the power of authority and it has been used and abused since Adam was a lad. This is because we will unconsciously defer to those who we perceive have a higher status than ourselves, rightly or wrongly.
So how could we use this to our advantage? You can find someone who is already doing whatever it is you want to do. If you spend time with them, you will unconsciously learn their habits. This is why the old master and apprentice model and is also a very powerful way to change.

Gateway Number Seven – Therapy and Coaching

You could find a teacher or coach who you trust to coach you into changing. A good coach should be able to communicate to your subconscious. They should be trained to use language carefully, so that it has a positive effect. They may be trained to use certain techniques designed to influence the subconscious mind, such as hypnosis or NLP. If you would like to learn more about my coaching methods, then please do email me. My address is at the end of the book.
Do you have a goal you want to achieve or a habit you want to change? If you use as many of the seven gateways as you can, you will find that your success rates will increase.

The post Six Ways to Influence the Subconscious appeared first on Mike Holden Sales.

As you may have surmised by now, I’ve been influenced by Jordan Belfort (The Wolf of Wall Street) I credit him for some of the material in this book and I do recommend you take his Straight Line Selling course. More of that later. Jordan has a unique way of managing the inner game which I will share with you now.
“My past failures and insults are now my muscle”

Do you want to know what the real secret to success is? It’s this:
Be willing to do today, what other people are unwilling to do, to get what you want tomorrow.

There it is in a nutshell, thousands of years of personal development boiled down to eighteen words. I suggest you copy these words and burn them into you psyche. There is nothing else required to succeed. Let’s dive deeper into what it means.

Be willing… this means you are prepared to do what it takes.
… To do today – not tomorrow, next week but today, preferably now.
…what other people are unwilling to do – for instance you practise your craft longer and harder, you make more cold calls, you phone the CEO when other target middle management.
…to get what you want tomorrow – you know your rewards come later; you are prepared to be patient.

Language

I write a lot about language in my other books, but here are a couple of words for you to eliminate from your vocabulary immediately, because of the negative effect they have on your psychology ie the inner game.

The first word is ‘problem’. What does problem make you think of? Aargh! Something has cropped up that has spoiled things and now xyz won’t work. This word puts you in an resourceful state of mind. Contrast that with ‘challenge’. This word has positive connotations. People like challenges, they test us, and they motivate you. Think of if someone says “I challenge you that you can’t do such and such”. You think right then I’ll show you. You roll your sleeves up.

Become a Creator of Circumstance

So two words describing the exact same scenario can affect how you think and therefore what you do next. This is the key – things will always happen and obstacles will always occur, it’s what you do next that counts. Become a creator of circumstances not a creature of circumstances.

The next word for you to eliminate is ‘should’. The word should describes an obligation. If you say to someone else “You should do xyz” they will feel obliged to. People don’t like to feel obliged to do something. They might perform the task but it won’t be as good as if they want to do it. Also catch yourself saying to yourself I “should do” to yourself. Again it implies an obligation to do something, which again implies it is not your goal. For example two people both have a few pounds to shed. One says “I really should lose a few pounds” and the other says, “I’m really motivated to lose a few pounds”. Which one of them is likely to lose the weight? Yet again one word effects your actions and therefore your results.

By the way if you are looking to lose weight contact me and I will show you how I did it.

Managing your State

Have you ever been in a crowded place and spotted someone you know? Think about that for a moment. Recently I saw an old colleague at a football game, where there were 90,000 people. How could I possibly spot someone out in such a crowd? Pure luck or chance? Well yes and no. I will explain.
Our conscious brain can only concentrate on a very small number of things at one time, but our unconscious mind is silently taking in everything we see and hear, as well as noting how we feel, what we smell, how warm or cold it is? For us to function effectively it makes sense for us to be conscious about only a few things, or we get overwhelmed. So the unconscious mind does three things to manage the information overload:

Deletion

Most of the information coming in is irrelevant so we delete it. Until there is a threat or, like a familiar face at my football game something novel to pique our interest. This is great as it stops us from overloading. It’s not so good when you realise how much we miss, including opportunities in business and selling. I go into this faculty of our mind on my post about het law of attraction (LNINK)

Distortion

This is also something to consider. Have you ever heard two people arguing over a referee’s decision in a football game? Clearly, they both can’t be right. At least one of them is incorrect because their mind has distorted what they have seen. Again, what we think we heard or saw isn’t necessarily what really happened. A prospect who says no, might not really be saying no. Ask for clarification.

Generalisation

This is useful because it means we don’t have to re-learn how to open a door every time we approach a new door. Our mind generalises to help us. This is a door and therefore this handle will open it. It is automatic and unconscious. However, we need to be careful with automatic generalisation. Whenever you hear the words – always, never, all, everyone, nobody take note as there is a generalisation coming and with it an untruth.
By being aware of deletions, distortions and generalisations, you can be more precise in your own language but also not take what your prospect says as necessarily the truth. Ask proper questions to pin down the truth. (LINK).

Managing Fear – the three ways

1. Ignore it. This is the victim’s way. They just take it and it prevents them from ever doing anything worthwhile. It leads to failure and is the loser’s way.
2. Act in spite of it. This is better than the losers’ way. They do it in spite of the fear. They are scared and may be successful but anxious.
3. The third and most resourceful way to manage your fears in sales and in anything is to accept it. This fear you feel is masking something much deeper probably from your childhood. It is usually from two core fears that humans have:
a. That you are not enough
b. You want to be loved because you are not enough.

The post The Inner Game appeared first on Mike Holden Sales.

“A business executive’s habits are amongst the most important factors that determine whether he or she will be a success – or a failure” J. Paul Getty

What are habits?

Habits are repeated behaviours, thoughts and actions that are automatic. Habits are useful, if not essential to life: we simply wouldn’t be able to function without habits. From the moment you wake and throughout the day, our day is full of those automatic actions that move us smoothly through life.

Think of any action that we take, even the most mundane like brushing our teeth. Imagine if you had to think consciously about brushing your teeth every day – twice a day. Then getting dressed and tying your shoelaces. By the time you are ready for the office you would already be exhausted and we haven’t even mentioned all the habits of etiquette – the social glue that keeps society functioning.

We have survived as a species exactly because habits are automatic. In evolutionary terms, this leaves us free to concentrate on physical threats to our existence or opportunities to find food.
All well and good then. Habits keep us alive and help us to learn new important skills. Except, not all habits are useful.

Bad Habits

As we have already suggested, habits are automatic, meaning that you don’t need to think about them. If any habit results in negative results, it’s a bad habit.

What is a bad habit

A bad habit is any repeated thought or action that results undesirable outcomes. Bad habits can also be the language that you use. Thoughts, words and actions are all linked together. Words can influence your thoughts, which then influence your actions. So be very careful what you say, because habitual negative language, will affect your thinking. If the results in your life aren’t what you want, then examine the language that you use.
Other bad habits may be just mindless activity. Do you eat when you are not hungry, in front of the TV? This is just a mindless bad habit.

Breaking bad habits

Once you become aware of the bad habit, you have already begun the process of breaking that bad habit. You are now aware. It is no longer mindless. This is therefore the first thing you should focus on when trying to break a bad habit. Become aware of it. Eat thoughtfully. Ask yourself ‘Am I really hungry?’’Do I really like the taste of this food?’ ‘How does it make me feel?’ When you become mindful about your habits, those that don’t serve you are exposed for what they are. You will be surprised to find that you can then easily change those habits.

Small habits

To change a small habit, simply perform a new habit for 21 consecutive days. It should then be permanent.

Another way to change small habits is to use reminders and props. Say that, for instance, you are in the habit of misplacing your keys. You mindlessly place them down when you arrive home. How about if you actually designate a place for these keys to live. E.g. A small saucer or tray near the front door. This is where the keys live. Make an intention to decide a place where the keys will go. Then go and put the keys there now. Now write a little note for yourself to put the keys back every day. Put this note with the keys and take the note with you the next day. It won’t take long before you are habitually putting the keys back in their new home. Once it is a habit, you can forget the note. It will be automatic.

Large habits

Sometimes bad habits are just too large change in one go. Let’s use an example of over-eating. Perhaps after years of eating too much of the wrong foods, you find yourself a little over-weight. The first thing many people do is to try to change everything all at once – the crash diet. Diets don’t work for many reasons, but the main one is internal resistance to change. We are hard wired to resist change. Any change could be a threat to our existence. Your body is also physiologically designed to get you to eat. If you stop eating, many processes in your body switch on to avoid starvation. In short your body fights to get you to eat. There is only one winner in this battle.

What’s the answer then?

You can bypass your body’s in built drive to eat, by chunking down the habit to its smallest components. So in our overeating example, this large habit can be broken down into individual meals or snacks, or even parts of meals. In his book the Compound Effect, Darren Hardy talks about making the smallest of changes, to bypass our tendency to avoid change. Tiny changes go undetected by our subconscious mind. Minute changes to your eating habits will not threaten your existence.

So you can remove one sugary snack per week from our diet and this will not cause too much heartache. You could choose Monday morning as a snack free zone.

Now you might say to yourself, that such a small change and it will have no effect, so why bother? Well this is where the Compound Effect helps. Yes, removing one snack per week will have a negligible effect on your calorie intake, say 200 kcal. However, that is 10,400 kcal per year. If 3,500 kcal collates to one pound of fat, then this would equate to nearly 3 pounds lost over the year, with almost no effort.

And that is not all. Once you have this mini habit down, you could remove another snack per week. Then another and another.
If you have never tried this method, I can assure you that it gathers momentum. Slowly all manner of little habits will change. Within a year you will be transformed. I promise you.

By the way if you are looking to lose weight contact me and I will show you how I did it.

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How do you make real lasting change in your life?
Also, how do you make things happen out there, in the real world, things that you have in your head right now that you want to make real? How do you find out what you really want?
For over 20 years and a thousand books, I have searched for the answers. I’ve tried every method I could find, including hypnosis, affirmations, visualisation and ‘putting it out to the universe’. I also made picture boards and mind movies. I’ve study philosophy, psychology, pop science and self- help books. In the past I’ve joined esoteric groups, chanted and prayed for miracles. I’ve trained in life coaching, NLP and conventional training methods.

15 Seconds at a Time

I’ve condensed everything I’ve learned into my book Done. This is a practical guide on how you can achieve anything in your life. You will learn the art of setting the right goals for you. I will also show you how you can break even the most complex and long-term goals into minute manageable bite sized chunks, that can be done 15 seconds at a time. In this website I will show you how to maintain focus in an ever distracted world. I also teach you how to manage your time, so that those mundane day to day tasks, don’t detract you from your life’s purpose.

I will introduce you to a technique that revolutionised my life. Be sure to read about the The 15 Second Principle.
Before we get cracking, however, just small word of caution.

Start Small

When making changes, when you first start, dream big but start small. It should be known that you can scupper your chances of achievement or change, by trying to do too much at once; You can make really big progress by the habit of small incremental changes. Keep you eyes on the big prize, but be clear that is the small everyday action that will get you there.

Resistance

If you ever feel resistance with a goal, project or even a small task first, this is a sign that you need to break it down further into a smaller chunk. Sometimes you have to trust your instincts or intuition on this. This can be a major part of achievement, the fact that the little voice tells you that you need to do more work on defining your outcome. Your emotions and how you feel will tell you whether you are on to something.

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Good Habits

When you remove bad habits, there could be a void that needs filling. Nature abhors a vacuum as the saying goes, so be mindful about what you replace bad habits with. It would be awful to remove the smoking habit only for you to replace it with an unhealthy addiction to sugary snacks.
You are therefore going to form new good habits to replace the bad ones.

How many

When I first got into personal development, I wanted to change everything overnight, removing many bad habits and forming loads of new ones. I also took on too many projects and created umpteen goals. The result was a disaster. As I said before be gentle with yourself. Less is more.
As you remove one bad habit, think of ONE good habit to replace it with. You might think that it will take an age to create meaningful change in your life, by forming just one new habit at a time. Through my experience and that of my clients, this is not the case. Go slow to create permanent results.

Forming a new habit

Let’s use an example of wanting to form a regular exercise habit. What always helps me with a new habit is clearing a specific time every day to perform the habit. This is so important. The set time every day is even more important than the exercise itself. So when is the best time to exercise? When you are most likely to do it, that’s when.
Break your new habit down into the smallest components. For instance a goal of running 3 miles every day, when you currently don’t do any exercise is doomed to failure. It would be better to set the goal of, say, walking five minutes every day for 21 days.

Kaizen

Robert D. Maurer in his book The Kaizen Way goes even further than this. He would recommend just getting in the habit of putting your running shoes on at the same time every day for 3 weeks. That’s it. If you do venture outside, great. If not, that’s great to because you are forming a new habit. Remember, I said before that with setting the habit of exercise, the time is more important than the actual exercise itself. This is because you are training your brain. You are creating new neural pathways that are hard to overcome. Why is this important?

Relapse

Creating the habit of a set exercise time is more important than the actual exercise itself, because some days you will fail. Yes, some days you will miss your exercise time. But, and it’s a big but, because you have the habit of a set exercise time, you will easily click back into the habit soon enough.

Ramping up

So now you are in the habit of putting your trainers on, it’s such a small effort to actually get outside and go for a walk. Then soon you will be walking for longer and further. As your strength and cardiovascular fitness increase, you might find yourself putting in a little jog. Pretty soon you will jog the whole mile, then two then three. Who knows in a year you might run a marathon.

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