Often attributed to Joseph Campbell, a favourite quote of mine is ‘The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek.’ I have a little printed meme of this quote stuck to my office wall. It faces me when I sit at my desk.
What is Fear?
But what is fear? As a verb, it describes the feeling you get about a situation, person, animal or object. This is all very natural. I fear xyz. So, the fear you feel is real. However it is what you do about the fear that makes the difference.
Often the fear is worse that the thing you fear. For instance, the dread of speaking in front of an audience, can be excruciating. Even if we have rehearsed and rehearsed our palms sweat. We have butterflies and we think “Why did I ever agree to this? I hope it’s cancelled; I just want this to be over.”
Then we start our performance. We know our subject, we can do this. The words flow, the adrenalin heightens our awareness and performance. Before we know it, the performance is over and we milk the applause. Then a wave of euphoria washes over us. ‘Let’s do it again’!’
Logically the worse thing that could physically happen to you is falling off the stage and injuring yourself. No one will attack you. Even if someone heckles you, which is highly unlikely, the other audience members are on your side, they want you to do well. But fear is not logical, we know that the speech we are about to make is a good thing for us to do and yet our primeval fears take over, if we let them.
The Options
What are the options when we are dealing with fear? Well firstly we can do a risk assessment. What are the consequences of doing the thing we fear versus what are the rewards? Do they stack up?
1. Run away
Our default reaction to fear is to run away. The most primitive parts of our reptilian brain will drive us to flee. Especially useful if you see an angry dog down the street, but not helpful just before an important performance. And yet, we can sometimes metaphorically run away from the things we fear. Many years ago, I remember making up an excuse to avoid going to an important networking event. In my mind I had some prior engagement that I needed to attend instead. The truth was, that I was running away.
I don’t do that anymore.
2. Stay put
Next is to stay put or freeze. This is another archaic response to the fear or threat. Again, this would be useful if you see that mad dog running across your path. It hasn’t seen you, so stay still and it will pass.
Freezing is not helpful, however if you are staying with the status quo in your career. You don’t put yourself forward to make the speech. If you stay put in your position you will be safe. But think about what you would miss out on.
3. Proceed with caution
Now we are not sure if there is a threat or not. There is a dog, it looks friendly enough, I will proceed with caution. Ahh the dog wags his tail. Good.
We can use this in interpersonal situations for instance if we are meeting new people, like visiting a new prospective customer. We don’t know each other, yet. I don’t want to say anything that could be offensive, so I stay on safe ground during our conversation. This is a sensible way to deal with the usual fears we come across in the workplace.
4. Charge full pelt at the fear
So, you’ve done your due diligence and assessed the risk. There is no physical danger. In our public speech example, the worse that could happen is you bomb. However you’ve prepared well, you know your stuff and you have your notes. You are still racked with fear, what should you do?
Charge full pelt at the fear.
If the fear is the metaphorical mad dog. You are going to run screaming and yelling at it to chase it off. You will stride onto the stage and own the room.
If I fear it, I must do it
On the other side of fear is growth.
This is another way of saying ‘The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek.’ But the subtle difference is that if you fear it, you must do it, for you to grow and improve. If you don’t face the fear, you will not only just stay where you are, you will move backwards. Caving into fear is a habit, just like facing up your fears. It will not just be this occasion where you shrink, there will be increasingly more to come. Just as you can expand your comfort zone by challenging it, by demurring, you will shrink your comfort zone. You may find that you become anxious about things you used to find easy.
Whenever you feel slightly nervous about an opportunity, acknowledge the fear and act anyway.
The Treasures
What treasures are in the caves of fear? We’ve just talked about personal growth, which is important. Also, when I look back on my life and the key pivotal moments where I progressed, they came from making a decision and acting despite fear.
We think that growth, whether its financial or in your position, is slow and gradual. You slowly increase your skills and experience over the years. However there comes a point when an opportunity presents itself, but it comes with fear. It might be that a more senior position in your company becomes vacant. You might fear to put yourself forward, even though you would like to gain that promotion. You must act now. Put yourself forward.
What other treasures are there besides promotion? A long happy marriage could come from overcoming the fear of asking the person on a date all those years ago.
You might have great health and a strong body, because you overcame the fear of walking into that gym the very first time.
What’s my cave?
I have entered many caves and, I’m afraid to say, avoided many others. However, I’ve always regretted not entering the cave. So, what’s the current cave I’m entering? It’s the fear of putting my writing out there for public scrutiny. Its easy to put a blog post out and hope that the Google algorithm drives people to read it. It’s another thing however to post to my friends and peers on LinkedIn .
I’m not sure what the treasure in this particular cave might end up being, it might be that someone gains some benefit from reading my stuff. I know I must do it though.
You can read my post about Fear’s big ugly brother, Anxiety. In this I talk about an episode of anxiety I suffered from many years ago. I also give you some practical tips if you suffer from it.
Anyway back to fear. What is your fear, or what cave do you dread to enter? What are the riches you are missing out on?