Be yourself is a common aphorism in self-help but what does it actually mean. Terms like this from so called experts really annoy me. Yes, sure I would be myself if I know how to. I’ve meditated on this for some time and I think I’ve discovered a solution. First, we must define who we are.
Who are you?
You can write a list of things that could be who you are, for instance:
- Your name
- What age your are.
- Nationality, race, gender etc
- Your occupation
- Your familial position – husband, father, son etc
- What are your hobbies and interests?
- Your status in the community
This list can go on for ever, but can you see that all of these are labels we give ourselves. You are more than just your occupation or one single label. You are also more than all the labels you can think of because you can always add more labels.
Who are you trying to be?
Maybe you are learning something new, eg you are starting to write a blog. Are you a blogger yet. Sure. I remember the first sales mentor I had early in my career pulled me up because I kept saying things like I was learning to be a salesperson and my attitude and demeanour was of a trainee rookie. He pulled me to one side and said ‘you, right now are a Salesman. Go and sell.’
So, who you are can also be who you are becoming, just because you’re not a in the top of your field doesn’t mean you are not a person in that field.
What you do is who you are.
So here was the major aha for me. You are not who you say you are or what other people say you are. You are what you do or what you do is who you are. Therefore, you are always being yourself. If you are trying to be someone else, if you think about it, you are still being yourself.
The question is therefore not how can I be myself, but rather what can I do to become the person I want to be? What things should I be doing, that a person I admire would do?
It’s ok to change what you do; you are still being yourself. If you are not happy with the things you are doing, then do something else and you will then become someone else.