Chemical Habits
Although I really can’t praise Darren Hardy enough for his work on the The Compound Effect
Alcohol
I can speak from experience when I say that breaking free from the alcohol habit can be difficult. This is because it is more than a mental habit. It is a chemical, which actually changes the biochemistry of your body. Firstly, alcohol is a diuretic. It dehydrates you. So drinking alcohol makes you thirsty.
The pleasant feelings associated with drinking, stimulates the production of endorphins. These are the reward chemicals that your brain releases, to encourage you to repeat certain actions. This gives you the feel-good factor.
Next, the alcohol interferes with cognitive ability, meaning that you don’t think straight. Finally, alcohol lowers your inhibitions and fears, making you carefree. All this adds up to a potent cocktail, which makes will-power and self-discipline difficult.
A Different Method
You therefore need a different method to just cutting down.
In my personal story, I experimented with cutting down the amount I drank. I also went to only drinking at weekends. I concluded that as it was so difficult to control, I should just quit altogether. So I did. I can honestly say it has been the best decision I have ever made.
To break a habit that is linked to a chemical, like alcohol, the only thing that worked for me was the all-or-nothing technique. That is, I decided that I would go from my normal consumption to nothing.
In my research prior to quitting, I left no stone unturned. Here are the steps I took, to make sure I stopped for good. All the following actions may seem insignificant, but together they helped me quit for good.
1. Make a decision and commit to it.
The word decision means to cut off all other possibilities. I decided that I would never drink again. There were no other possibilities.
2. Pick a date in advance that will be your last day of drinking alcohol, or Day Zero.
Mine was about a month in advance. I made sure that the first month was clear of events that could tempt me, for example a night out with the lads.
3. Next, make a list of all the reasons why you want to quit.
This should included all the benefits, but also, all the bad things alcohol has done to you. Include all the gruesome details of embarrassing incidents. Only you need to read this. Boil all these reasons down to one big reason. If you can describe the reason why in one powerful word, all the better. This is your One-Word-Reason. For example, one big reason, apart from all the other reasons, could be painful gout. Therefore a One-Word-Reason would therefore be Gout.
4. I then made a promise to my close family, that I was going to quit and why.
I didn’t tell anyone else. I recommend you tell one or two trusted loved ones and no-one else. Be very careful here, you need to be able to trust that these people will support you 100%. If you doubt that they will support you, don’t tell them.
5. During the limbo period, before quitting, I prepared various tools and techniques.
I set up reminders in my calendar, to read my reasons for quitting each weekend. I created a talisman that would symbolically remind me why I was quitting. I used my one word reason, which was Sleep, because alcohol affected my sleep and made me tired. I wrote the word Sleep on a medal and put it in my wallet. You can do the same. It could be just be a little nick-nack, that you can carry around. Nobody else needs to know what it means, but it will serve as a reminder to you. Whenever you feel tempted, just look at your talisman and think of your One-Word-Reason and this should redouble your resolve.
6. Also during that period, I read several books on quitting.
If you would like to know what books I recommend, please do contact me, my email address is at the end of this book.
7. Next, notice how ingrained alcohol is in our society.
This makes it harder to quit. From films to popular soap operas, popular media seemed to be endorsing and legitimising drinking a toxin, to me anyway. I see it for what it is – a great big con.
8. The night before quitting, when you have your last drink, really taste it mindfully.
My last drink was on a Sunday. I drank some wine mindfully and tasted it honestly. No more Emperor’s New Clothes. It actually tasted like shite. Then I had my last mouthful and poured the rest away.
9. The first week is a critical time, where you could be tempted by all the influences in society.
Try to nullify these by limiting TV etc. Immerse yourself in positive influences that will support your new lifestyle. From day 1 to day 7, I listened to every Alcohol Mastery podcast from start to finish. (Thank-you Kevin O’Hara). I had no one to turn to during this period. Kevin’s wisdom and experience helped me during this critical period.
10. Set up a running log, which records each day you are dry.
I did mine in my online calendar. After the first successful day I set an all-day appointment saying I DON’T DRINK and coloured it red. Then I repeated this every day. This created a virtuous chain of successful days. As this grew and grew, I was even more determined not to break the chain.
11. After one week, tell your wider family members.
Don’t tell any friends or work colleagues yet, though, unless these are your trusted inner-circle.
12. After one month, you can start to tell people “I don’t drink”.
Simple as that – no explanation. If they ask why not, tell the truth.
This is how I did it and it worked for me. I can only reiterate that it has been my best decision ever.
Cigarettes
I gave up smoking in my late thirties and this was actually harder than quitting alcohol. Looking back the techniques I used were similar to those I used with the booze. Firstly I set a date in advance. This made sure that the decision was not a spur of the moment one. It was something well thought out and considered. I made a list of the reasons why I wanted to quit.
I made the decision that I would go cold turkey – that is, no patches or gum. It was all or nothing. No cutting back or weaning off. I actually quit smoking before I qualified as a Hypnotherapist, but I used self-hypnosis and hypnosis cds, which I listened to every single day for a month before I quit.