Why do you pursue goals? Is it to gain wealth, love, health or fame? Happiness is not a goal, so ask yourself why you are pursuing your goals. Whatever the answer is, ask why you want it. If you keep asking you will eventually become stuck. You will probably just say, so that I will be happy.
For example, let’s say your goal is to make so many sales this year. Why?
- So that I will earn a certain amount of commission. Why?
- So that I can buy a rental property. Why?
- So that I will earn asset income. Why?
- So that I will be financially independent. Why?
- So that I don’t have to ‘work for the man.’ Why?
- So that I can do what I want. Why?
- Err – so that I will be happy.
I will be happy when
You see in the example above, that deep down you think you think you will be happy when something happens, or some goal is achieved.
I was the same. For years I pursued financial independence and I used to visualise what life would be like. It seemed that when it happened it would be like fireworks going off in the night sky. Glitter and balloons would drop from the ceiling and a man in a shiny gold suit would hand me a laminated certificate and glass of champagne, whilst the local newspaper photographer snapped us for the next edition.
Nothing could be further from the truth. When it happened for me, I didn’t even realise. It took me being made redundant, to sit down and work out that yes, I was already financially independent. I didn’t need to look for another job. My wife and I went on holiday. When we returned, I came back and redecorated the house. Then after a couple of weeks, I was bored and not happy. Well not like I thought I would be. I was back to my base level of wellbeing. Was this what it was all about?
Happiness is a by-product
Here’s a quick exercise for you. Think back to times when you were happy. Choose three memories.
What were you doing, who were you with, what was happening? For me when I think of times when I am happy, they are occasions like being with my family, having a good laugh with my mates, or taking the dogs for a long walk in the countryside. But here’s the thing, at the time you don’t realise you are happy. You are just there enjoying the moment.
So, here’s a suggestion for you, why don’t you pursue these things instead.
Then happiness will come to you.
I’ve written another post called Living In The Now – My Present To You where I describe some of the magical things that can happen if you let go of living for future goals.
The pursuit of happiness is a fool’s errand. Don’t pursue happiness, let happiness pursue you.