Around 20 years ago I had a spiritual experience, which I wish to reignite. I was driving down to London listening to the soundtrack of the Trainspotting film. I was zoned out from listening to music, during the 4-hour drive from Manchester Then Blur’s Sing came on. For no apparent reason, the hairs on the back of my neck stood on end. A warm flow rose up through my spine, to the crown of my head and back down.
For a brief moment I saw everything was connected, through time and space.
I arrived in London, for my conference, in a state of ecstasy.
This was one of 3 such moments in my life, where I glimpsed the infinite. The first occurred when I was 11 years old and the third and last time was when I was in my late 30’s. I will write about those other two occasions another time.
I’ve spent the couple of decades or so, trying to rediscover that feeling; to reignite if you will. I ’m not giving up. I am exploring how to return to it. These esoteric episodes have led me to read and study around the hidden or occluded and to follow a journey of discovery.
It was a powerful experience, and I feel like I’ve drifted away from the spiritual connection over time, especially as life’s responsibilities and roles take centre stage. However, the fact that I remember it and want to return to it is important. It is not lost, just dormant. Like a pilot light still flickering under the surface.
So, what follows is my practical plan to get back to that sense of spiritual aliveness.:
Reigniting the Spark: A Practical Route to Reconnection
1. Revisit the Origin Point
Reflecting on what catalysed my awakening back then. Was it a book? A person? A crisis? A sudden insight? A practice? I’m trying to reconnect with the environment and conditions that gave rise to it. Not to relive the past, but to understand what unlocked that part of me.
Prompt:
“What was I doing, thinking, reading, or experiencing during that awakening? What did I feel I had discovered about life or myself?”
2. Practice, Not Performance
Spirituality isn’t about being “in the zone” 24/7. It’s about showing up, even when it feels empty. It can be re-entered through simple daily rituals:
- Mindful walking or journaling
- Breathwork or meditation
- Reading esoteric/spiritual texts that once resonated
- Listening to certain music or being in nature
This will prime my mind to re-enter the state where that expanded sense of self will re-emerge.
3. Write the Journey
As a writer, my spiritual journey could be one of the most meaningful stories I ever tell. I’ve doubled down on my daily journaling, to document the rediscovery. I’m not worried about the structure. I just let the questions and memories guide me:
- What do I miss most about that version of me?
- What would it mean to integrate that awareness now?
This becomes both therapy and fuel for a new phase.
4. Reignite by Using Esoteric Tools Again
I was drawn to the esoteric—synchronicities, energy, symbols and deeper psychology. I’ve started to reintegrate a few of those tools back into my day. I think of them as prompts for insight, not doctrine. For example, you can read my post about how I am using divination to make decisions. In it I give you several ways in which I can solve conundrums using what would be described as occult methods.
5. Seek Flow Over Belief
I don’t need to “believe” what I once did. I just need to feel what I once felt: awe, presence, connectedness. So, I am going to look for those little flow states—in creativity, nature, synchronicities—and follow them like breadcrumbs.
6. Mentoring the Younger Me
I have evolved. I’m more grounded. I have more responsibility, yes—but also more wisdom. I like to think about what would happen if I combined that younger spiritual fire with my current stability and depth. I’m not trying to go back; I’m trying to bring it forward.
Does any part of this resonate with you? Have you ever touched that deeper current within yourself, even once? You haven’t lost it. It’s still there, waiting. Maybe, like me, you’ve felt disconnected or dulled by the weight of everyday life, but that spark doesn’t vanish. It just needs air and attention. This journey I’m on isn’t about chasing some mystical peak; it’s about remembering what’s already inside me. So, if you’ve been feeling the nudge, the longing, the quiet pull to reconnect with something greater—consider this your sign. It’s time to reignite.